​Stumblin' around through the land of the bars
Tryin'-a walk straight in this concrete backyard
Glaring down the road, and pray to God I don't get frostbite

I made it to the pub at half-past-noon
Shot after shot, singing karaoke tunes
And now I'm hopin' for a-Main Street, I can see my bedroom tonight

So walk me home like a loose wheel
Walk me home, so I can start to heal
Hey, someone walk me
Walk me home in the wind and the rain
Walk me home or you won't see me again
Hey, someone walk me

Tryin'-a make small talk as I paid my bill
The waitress couldn't understand my absolute shill
So I settled my tab and left out the door face first

Oh, cold dark roads keep a-knockin' me blind
There's a tattoo on my body that I have yet to find
And I spent a half-hour petting a darn cute... rock

So walk me home 'till I'm warm and dry
Walk me home, I'm so cross-eyed
Hey, someone walk me
Yeah, walk me home 'round the curve and the bend
Walk me home, this can't be how it ends
Hey, someone walk me

Found myself in a park, eating some chips
I don't know where I got 'em, let alone this garlic dip
If anyone were around they'd be staring at me
As I sung Safety Dance with a big oak tree

I gotta get a move on before the sun
I hear my bedroom calling my name and I know this is no longer fun
And if I die at home, at least I won't smell like the street

So walk me home 'till I'm safe in bed
Walk me home so I'll wake up not dead
Hey, someone walk me
Oh, walk me home, I'm feeling weak
Maybe just a minute take a nap in the street
Hey, someone walk me

So walk me home, lost my common senses
Walk me home, I'm under influences
Hey, someone walk me
Walk me home, I'll hurt in the morn'
Walk me home, look- I'm a unicorn!
Hey, someone walk me
Walk me