I was always a good kid
Didn't get into much trouble
On the baseball team
my hits were supreme

But one time the ball hit hard
and I fell to the ground
It caused a chain reaction
when something started to swell

They rushed me to the doc
My first referral was clear
Remove my appendix
'fore it burst out of my rear

Now I'm an appendix-less boy
I'm an appendix-less boy
I'm an appendix-less boy
That's okay
I don't need it

Fast forward a year
I'm dared to lick footgear
Was young and naive
and now I do grieve
Wisdom teeth and tonsils are not here

So I'm an appendix-less kid
and a tonsil-less kid
and a wisdom teeth-less kid
That's okay
I don't need 'em

College was carefree
A supportive fraternity
Till late one moon
passed out in the common room
My friends took my kidney

I never thought it could go this poorly
I was abducted by an other-worldling
They operated on me
with what, I couldn't see
I did submit
They made some slits
Replaced all my organs with intergalactic bits

Now I'm a bionic man
I'm a bionic man
I'm a bionic man
At least I still got my hands
to play this song

Bionic man
Bionic man
Bionic man
Oh I'm a bionic man

Food with the fam at the game
Turns out bionic lung gives you a good name
It all turned out well
covered in corndog smell (mmm, ow!)
I bit my tongue and it hurt like hell

Now I'm a tongue-less bionic man
I'm a tongue-less bionic man
I'm a tongue-less bionic man
That's okay
I don't need it

Bionic man
Bionic man
Bionic man
Oh I'm a bionic man